In the project «The words that I need» I explore the relationships between the partners, their need for words they want to hear from each other, and their ability to say these words.

Passing through the crisis of relationship with a partner, I was thinking about the human need for words to express love, approval, understanding, trust, support and care, and the impact of these words on the relationships. Following the reverse, I were carefully writing down in a notebook the words of a partner I did not want to hear. Instead of them I have formulated the words that I needed, and made paper ads, hanging them up in the city. To those strangers who called me I offered to say on camera the words that were listed in the ads, and thus, to create a psychological counterbalance opposed to the reality in which I lived. I listened to strangers who were trying to save me. Their words were false, but it was the sincerity with which they said that made me to rethink what intimacy and understanding mean.

I am very happy when it is possible to have breakfast together
«I am very happy when it is possible to have breakfast together»

 

During the first part of the project 800 ads were stuck and 55 calls were received. 26 men expressed their consent to meet and record a video, 12 of them took part in the shooting.

 

The second part of the project is a study of the partner’s needs and the ability to say the words he needs. Acting in a familiar way and putting up ads in the urban space, I was receiving phone calls and messages from men about what they want to hear from their women (or men in same-sex relationships). In the end, I recorded the video, during which I provided the voice to all these phrases. Other people’s words at the time of pronouncing them turned to mine and caused the unexpected internal reaction. Acceptance, love, harmony, humility, pain, anger, fear, and alienation. Video work assumed to be the illustration of the sociological slice, became a living performance art, which emerged a conflict between the impossibility of the game and the need to be sincere. Thus, the project formed a new angle to consider. Should we strive for «positive» image of ourselves, support, accept, hear the partner or remain ourselves, and therefore have the right to ignore, criticize, express dissatisfaction?

«What words do you need from a woman?»

 

During the second part of the project 500 ads were stuck, 80 calls were received, from which 52 men agreed to voice the words/phrases that they need from a woman (men — in same-sex relationships).